


Do A Crime With Me Please?

by indefensibleselfindulgence



Category: Campaign Skyjacks, Illimat (Board Game), Neoscum
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Banter, Character Study, Other, Takes Place in a Coffeeshop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 07:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19997824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indefensibleselfindulgence/pseuds/indefensibleselfindulgence
Summary: Travis just needs one tiny favor, that's all.





	Do A Crime With Me Please?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smithybadger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smithybadger/gifts).



> i hope i got that passive aggressive fun time modern au tone at least somewhat well

“I can’t believe you made me meet you here.”

“Oh, can’t you?”

The cafe is a little grody, he can admit, but it’s homey, it’s nice, it’s tucked into a corner a block away from a truck stop- okay, yeah sure, he gets like maybe half of the complaint, but Gable is really putting the wrong foot forward. Sure the neon lights aren’t really coffeeshop vibe, and sure the random pinups on the wall could be considered slightly tacky, but that’s neither here nor there, really.

He leans on the counter with his elbows, back to the nonexistent barista and facing Gable who looks a little out of breath (hot) and already very put upon (hot, also). He’s glad his scarf is pulled up as tight and as high as it is.

“Travis what am I doing here?” It’s barely a question, sighed out dramatically the way it is.

“Really, what is anyone doing here.”

“Travis.”

There’s a jingle of the bead curtain, (because of course there’s a bead curtain) and Travis turns around to look at the barista.

“We could have robbed you blind.” He informs the kid, leaning on the counter again.

“I wouldn’t have done that,” Gable says behind him, and Travis can’t help but smirk. You’d think criminals would be less honest in this day and age. Not that they were criminals, of course, of course not.

“Go ahead.” The kid pulls out his phone. “You think I’m going to die for burnt coffee?”

“Zenith.” Travis drags out, tongue pressed against his teeth. “That’s really not how to advertise your services.” He’s been coming to this place for a few years now, whenever he’s in town really because he really vibes with the atmosphere. Zenith’s new- newish- newish on Travis time. It’s been maybe two or three years since he’s started working here.

“You’re not here for my services, you’re here for bad coffee.”

“Mm- You got me.” He reaches over the counter and pulls Zenith’s phone out of his hands. “You can get this back when you make me an iced latte.”

“It’s snowing outside.”

“And you have the heater on. Come on. Gable, what are you getting? Gable?” Travis turns around, and Gable is staring at him. Annoyed. Fun.

“I’m so sorry for him.” They sweep the phone out of Travis’ hand as they push him aside, very smooth, and push it back into Zenith’s hands. “Just a black coffee.”

Zenith looks between the two of them and then shrugs.

“Put it on my tab,” Travis calls, already heading to his table.

It has his name on it and everything.

Gable takes their time, waiting for the drinks to be made even though Zenith totally would have walked them over because Travis tips so well. Maybe in money that isn’t federally traded but that’s neither here nor there. They walk over slowly, careful not to spill either drink on the already sort of gross floor.

“Why are we in a hole in the wall?” They ask again.

“Xanadu is lovely, how dare you.” He sips his drink as loudly as he can. There’s his guaranteed eye roll. “You know Dref?”

“Dref? Dref, our coworker who we see every single day?”

“Yeah, have you heard of him?”

“Christ.” They lean back in the chair, and it creaks under all of their weight. “Yes.”

“He has something that I really want. And he won’t give it to me, because he thinks it's dangerous’ and that I’ll ‘abuse it’ whatever that’s supposed to mean.” His air quotes go without saying.

Gable takes a sip and sputters.

“This is awful.”

“Of course, it is.” He leans back in his chair, legs up on the table and who’s going to stop him if they’re the only people in this place. Zenith? Zenith doesn’t give a fuck. He has no idea where Zenith disappeared too, actually, maybe to go make out with his weird magic boyfriend who maybe sleeps in here sometimes. “Listen. Are you going to help me break into Dref’s office or not?”

“What- Why- Travis, why would I do that?”

“Because I’m your favorite.”

“You’re not. Jonnit’s my favorite. I mean, not that I prescribe to favorites.” Travis makes a face, really plays up the hurt emotions. “That’s just objectively incorrect. It goes Jonnit-”

“Okay.”

“And then my birds.”

“O-Kay.” He drags out.

“Then, the captain.”

“I heard the elderly are supposed to be polite.” His pride isn’t hurt, it isn’t, because that would be ridiculous. As if Travis Matagot would be swayed or really even bothered by something like being told that a corpse outranks him.

Well, Orimar did make a very hot corpse.

“Have you met yourself?”

“I’m a delight.”

“Ha!” Gable takes another sip and recoils. “This can’t be safe for human consumption.”

“Good thing we’re not.” He whispers, and Gable cracks a laugh. God, finally, someone recognizes his brilliance for what it is. He brings his cup up to his face and puts the straw in his mouth with no hands on the very first try. There. Could a corpse do that? “So Dref’s office-”

“I’m not going to help you steal from our coworker, Travis, that’s insane.”

“It’s really not.” Eyebrows raised. Maybe even a little waggle. “Come on,” He whines, but in a cute and fun way and not at all in a way that’s pathetic. “We make such a good team.”

There’s a pronounced pause, a sink turns on somewhere in a backroom, and Gable looks him over again. They are really good at making him Almost second guess his choices. But only almost.

“What is it?”

“A skull.”

“Travis, what the fuck.” He laughs, sure that he’s got them now, and leans forward, almost having the chair slip out from under him in the motion.

“Okay, so listen, remember when we pulled off that totally sick and completely legal robbery.”

“Travis!” They hiss because Zenith walks back into the front with a rag in his hands. Whatever.

“I said legal, it’s fine. There was a chest of shit, and we all called dibs right, so I found a skull. And Dref found out and got super weird about it, because you know how weird Dref is.” Gable just gives him a flat look. “Horny. Like murder horny.”

“Travis, we are in public.”

“Like really into skulls and shit- you get my point.”

“Mm.” It’s high pitched. (Cute.)

“Right. So it’s in his office, somewhere, for ‘my mental wellbeing’ or whatever, when really he’s probably just being weird. Again. Can you help me get it back, please?”

“Oh wow, manners?”

“I know, I’m really trying here.”

“A-” They lean forward until they’re very close to his face. “A skull?”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s skull is it?”

Travis swallows more bad coffee.

“Someone like me.” He takes a moment, and everything feels still again. Gable stares. "Something. Something like me."

Thinking about it, he really should have lead with that, because Gable says yes instantly.


End file.
